Conflicts between parents and teenagers are common, but certain behaviors by parents can lead children to lose respect. Zeynep Hassan, a childcare specialist at Anker Social Services in child and youth welfare, explains in a recent interview with Brigitte.de why these tensions occur and how trust can be rebuilt. [1]
Hassan attributes frequent conflicts to fundamental brain development during puberty. The prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse regulation and emotional processing, does not fully develop until the mid-20s. Consequently, teenagers are more spontaneous and emotional, taking conflicts more personally. Both parents and teens may say things they do not mean, exacerbating misunderstandings. [1]
When adolescents break agreements, Hassan advises parents to recognize that this behavior is rarely intended to be malicious. Instead, it stems from specific needs, similar to how infants cry due to hunger or discomfort. Teenagers also have needs that drive their actions, and understanding this perspective helps shift the focus from punishment to cooperation. [1]
Understanding a teenager’s behavior does not mean condoning rule-breaking. Hassan emphasizes that parents can acknowledge their child’s feelings while still enforcing boundaries, stating, 'I understand you, but I still want you home by 8 p.m.' To foster cooperation, she suggests asking, 'How can we work together to ensure the agreed-upon rules are followed?' rather than issuing lectures. [1]
The most critical need for adolescents is reassurance from their parents. Hassan notes that teens often feel unheard, emphasizing that the relationship itself is more important than whether they comply with every command. If trust has already been damaged, the teenage years offer a window for repair. Parents can admit past mistakes, restructure the relationship, and demonstrate that they value the connection, thereby regaining cooperation and respect. [1]
- Categories:
- Education
