Swiss journalist and writer Amanda Castillo has released a new essay, *We Have the Right to Age Like Men* (Continta Me Tienes), which critiques the societal double standards that treat the aging process as a source of prestige for men and a devaluation for women. Castillo argues that if aging carries a significant social, economic, and sexual cost primarily for women, it cannot be considered a purely private choice. [1]
In a wide-ranging discussion of the book, Castillo reveals that she began lying about her age at ten, not to appear older, but because she recognized early on that age is not an innocent metric. She believes society imposes a rigid corset of behavior based on numerical age, a burden intensified for women by the intersection of ageism and sexism. Without disclosing her age, she escapes classification pressures: in her twenties, the focus was on partnership status; later, on motherhood; in her fifties, on hairstyle. She contends that behind age preferences in heterosexual dynamics lies a power structure, where men seeking younger partners often seek those with less experience and greater malleability, a trait harder to find in a thirty-five-year-old woman compared to a twenty-two-year-old. [1]
Castillo challenges the notion that media celebration of mature models and actresses signals progress. She asserts that society only accepts aging women if they do not appear to be aging, effectively turning 'aging well' into a privilege accessible only to those with money and time to mask biological reality. She emphasizes that a great deal of money is required to pretend time does not pass, stigmatizing women who age normally while elevating those who can afford to defy the clock. [1]
The writer also examines the role of fiction, citing series like *Big Little Lies* and *Emily in Paris*, as tools that might shift desire. She notes that erotic imagination is built from images, and decades of bombardment with young female archetypes have shaped what we desire. By featuring older women with depth, dialogue, and psychological richness, fiction can open new horizons. She shares that even men initially attracted only to younger women have reported increased attraction to older actresses like Nicole Kidman after seeing nuanced portrayals. Castillo rejects the idea that accepting aging must become an obligation, urging a focus on bodily realities, including menstrual and menopausal health, which have historically been psychologized or marginalized by patriarchal medical norms. [1]
Discussing the concept of rage, Castillo references intellectual figures like Lou Andreas-Salomé and George Sand, who found liberation in indifference or a rejection of the male gaze. She views rage as a potent energy that must be channeled into creative acts—writing, thinking, transforming—rather than letting it consume the individual. The ultimate victory lies in ceasing to react to systemic oppression and living in the first person. Her goal is to age without being reduced to the body, enjoying privileges such as having one's work seen as separate from physical decline, a separation rarely afforded to women whose value is often tied to appearance. Through her research, Castillo concludes that her own early anxiety about aging was not a personal failure but a learned response to societal messages, a realization she now intellectually dissects while navigating her own aging process. [1]
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