In the Dutch relationship column 'Vrijpartij' on LINDA.nl, Marieke, 36, shares her journey of discovering she is attracted to women, a realization that came late in her life. Before her mid-twenties, she exclusively dated older men, describing those relationships as unequal and devoid of genuine pleasure for her. [1]
Marieke reflects that she viewed sexual encounters with men merely as validation rather than intimacy. She felt she had no agency in these dynamics, positioning herself as the decision-maker only by withholding requests, a behavior rooted in her identity as a 'Disney girl' who believed in adhering to traditional norms. [1]
Her perspective shifted when she connected with a woman online from America. Though they never met physically, their deep intellectual and emotional connection sparked a new kind of longing and excitement, leading her to end her relationship with her male partner. [1]
The realization crystallized during a trip to the Balkans, where she kissed a woman for the first time on the street. Marieke describes this moment as shedding a layer of dissociation; instead of passively undressing for men, she actively engaged in intimacy, becoming a participant rather than an observer. [1]
For the past four years, Marieke has been in an on-and-off relationship with a woman. She challenges the stereotype that female-female intimacy is effortless or inherently perfect, noting that women often place unrealistic expectations on each other’s anatomical knowledge. In practice, she finds peace in slow, consensual buildup without the pressure to perform. [1]
- Categories:
- Entertainment
