Psychologist Silvia Severino draws attention to the way the breakup process can generate confusion regarding one's own emotions. In a recent discussion, the expert explains that what many interpret as 'longing' for an ex-partner is, in fact, the emotional resonance of the time and effort invested in a shared project that did not unfold as expected. [1]
'Did you know that perhaps you don't even miss your ex? Perhaps you're just hurting from the time you invested in them?' Severino reflects, highlighting the subtle difference between attachment and regret over lost opportunities. She explains that the sense of emptiness left by a relationship that did not evolve in the desired direction is often masked by the illusion that it is about unfulfilled love, when in reality, it is about recognizing the costs already paid. [1]
In her analysis, initially published on the TikTok platform (@silviaseverinopsico), the psychologist argues that it is 'not love.' It is the mind refusing to accept that it has invested resources in a balance that no longer exists. This recognition is a crucial step toward healing, because remaining in a state of longing based on an illusion does not recover anything; it only increases the emotional cost of adapting to the new reality. [1]
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